So I have officially started a blog. And a wellbeing blog at that. As my husband put it when I told him,“Does that mean you are going to become a pretentious arsehole now and put a white filter on all of your photographs?” Well reader I can tell you the answer to that is, I honestly hope not.
My aim is not to preach, (as lets face it, preaching can be really motivating, but it can also be a little annoying after a while), it’s to share. You see I’m currently on a journey, a journey that at times is shit scary (and if I’m honest may lead to me occasionally losing said ‘shit’) and other at times can be quite lonely (OK I’m trying to be polite – at times it can be really fucking lonely).
“A quick google search will tell you 15 million people in the UK have a chronic health condition”
So what is this journey I hear you cry! Well, it is a journey of chronic health issues (I discuss more about these on my about page here). And although I might feel lonely, I know I’m not alone. A quick google search will tell you 15 million people in the UK have a chronic health condition and over 50% of the UK has chronic pain of some description or another. Now I can’t vouch for the validity of random shit that pops up in a google search but even if those figures are out by 50%, that’s a shit load of people!
Anyway – back to my aim for the blog (I am possibly supposed to call this something fancy like a strategy or my philosophy, however in an attempt to try and sound slightly less nobbish, I’, sticking with aim), reminder – I am on a shit scary and lonely journey.
“If I’m going to all this trouble to find out what works for me, it seems a bit silly not to share what I find out with other people”
What I don’t want to do is discredit any of my amazing family and friends, who are so incredibly supportive and empathetic it is really quite incredible. But the lonely part comes just after them, when the conversation about how you’re feeling or how you’re getting on is over (and so it should be – I don’t want to talk about feeling shit all day!) but when everyone carries on with their life, and you’re still there, feeling like crap, and trying to keep a smile on your face with the best of them. And the shit scary part? That usually comes when you can’t sleep at night (often due to one symptom or another) and your brain starts to freak out about your health, where you are heading, whether your deteriorating, whether you are going to end up becoming disabled (or more disabled) etc. etc. (OK getting a little bit violins at this point, and I’m even starting to piss myself off, so let’s return to a more upbeat tone).
So anyway, I figured two things:
- If I’m going to all this trouble to find out what works for me, it seems a bit silly not to share what I find out with other people on a similar journey (after all, there is a hell of a lot of ‘advice’ to wade through).
- Maybe in doing number 1, I might meet some people along the way who understand what I’m going through, and that would definitely make this whole journey a little easier (visualise rousing scenes from Lord of the Rings with random men (all with unusually long hair) standing one after the other to volunteer themselves to join Frodo on his quest, but without the sexism and the silly wigs).
And so here I am, I’m just a (33 year old) girl (with a good dose of chronic health problems and shit loads of baggage), standing in front of a boy (or girl, or anyone) asking him (/her) to love me (or if that seems a bit fast, then just to occasionally read my blog posts, try not to troll me and occasionally share intimate details of their health and life with me).
P.S. I can only apologise for the use of the expression ‘upbeat tone’ in the blog post above, I appreciate you probably now think I was born in the 1930’s.
P.P.S. Again with another apology, this time for the bizarre number of film references in this post! I promise I’m not normally ‘that girl’ (you know) I can only blame the fact that I have been catching up on back episodes of Suits recently.
OK now I’m actually done.
If you read this and didn’t want to instantly troll me or throw up then feel free to leave me a comment or share, I really appreciate it! And I’m glad we can share this beautiful journey together!…
(too soon, wasn’t it? – damn!)