I want you to join me this month dear reader on my mission to spring clean my soul! (Don’t worry, no polish or sponge required!)
As I sat going through my personal inbox the other day – ‘delete. delete. delete. ooo what’s thi… delete.’ I had a small epiphany. It went a little something like this…
‘WTF am I doing?!?!’
So many things I want to do with my life, people I want to catch up with, things I want to achieve, even just everyday things I need to get done. And yet minutes are sucked into hours doing pointless stupid smelly life admin. Not even important life admin like – update your address details with you bank (shit I actually need to do that #fail), which although could be described as tedious, annoying, even smelly, is still unfortunately a necessary and purposeful evil. But deleting 12 million (no exaggeration) emails from my 2 personal inboxes (WhyTF do I have 2? I don’t F’ing know?!) is just pointless.
So I’m taking a stand (against who I’m not sure, but I am sure that someone is going to be highly affected by my action) and I’m decluttering my soul.
(Apologies if you thought this was going to be a deep and meaningful post about clearing bad energy or working through past traumas, embracing love, rejecting fear etc. Don’t get me wrong all that shit is really important as well, it’s just I can’t quite wrap my soul around all of that whilst it continues to be destroyed on a daily basis by mind numbing, pointless, stupid, smelly stuff.)
So dear reader, as always I hear you cry, ‘what’s the plan Kate?’. Well it is very sophisticated and clever so you may need to read it twice, are you concentrating?
I am going to:
- brainstorm all this shit
- turn it into a list
- start removing everything on the list from my life
I know what your thinking, WOW, that’s some mind blowing stuff right there! Before long I will be a guru with my own youtube channel.
Seriously though, if you haven’t switched off yet bear with me for a moment longer to imagine. Imagine how much anti-wellness is created by the weight of this crap in our lives:
- The piles of unopened junk mail on the coffee table;
- The piles of F’ing ‘Sweaty Brenda’ and ‘Linen and More Linen’ free catalogues in the kitchen waiting to be recycled (I don’t actually know how to undo those btw but if I find out I’ll let you know, it’s like when you hit 30, BAM – someone sells your details to every random catalogue based retailer on the planet and all of a sudden you can’t move for visions of pink lycra and beige linen), anyway where was I;
- The piles of unopened emails in your inbox;
- The direct debits that come out of your account every month that make you feel really guilty when you see them because you stopped using the service months ago and forgot to cancel (you should probably do it now whilst you can see it and the guilt is so strong… ahh F it, I’ll do it later);
- the annoying people on your social media accounts that piss you off every time you see their posts, but you can’t be arsed to de-friend them;
- the cupboard in your kitchen that’s full of rubbish and out of date stuff and it always all falls out everywhere when you try to get something, causing things to spill and you to swear profusely, however instead of sorting it so it doesn’t happen again, you stuff all the crap back in anyway to repeat the excitement again another day! (Apologies to any clean and tidy people who are starting to feel slightly horrified at this point);
- the fact that you keep washing the same pair of pants with a bloody hole in them because you don’t want to throw out dirty pants (my dirty underwear out in the world, eww, just wrong), but then you forget and put the bastards back in your drawer only to put them on again another day (hoping that’s not just me, but appreciate there is a high chance that it might be).
I’m going to stop listing now because a) it’s endless and b) I’m starting to embarrass myself. Hopefully however, you can see the potential here, the endless stuff that sits on our shoulders weighing us down, taking our time every day. These ‘things’ are a pain in the arse to sort out but as somebody once probably used to say ‘ a little time at the beginning saves a lot of time in the end’.
If you think of something I haven’t thought of please share below as I am on a role and I know there are things I have forgotten. I’d love to hear from you and any successes you have had in this area (or failures). Plus if anyone else has suffered the pants trauma, feel free to dig me out of that hole…
P.S. If anyone knows how to remove yourself from catalogue mailing lists, ‘Sweaty Boobie’ and the like, please please please let me know, I’m assuming a return to sender with the words ‘PISS OFF’ scrawled all over it in sharpie won’t do the trick, but here’s hoping…